The Ex Factor

Many of us shudder and wince at the thought of our 'exes' -- the people with whom we're no longer romantically involved, usually with a 'good riddance' attitude.

BUT... but...... I posit that we are looking at these people and our relationships with them all wrong.  Frankly, no matter what we've been through with someone, it's more likely than not that the qualities we first valued in them are still there, even if we personally are not seeing them. Also, there's a good chance that the relationship caused us to grow or mature in some way, and thus literally made us better people than we would have been had we not been in the relationship. So in essence, the difficulties actually benefitted us, possibly in ways we've not yet recognized.

I've had 3 primary/serious romantic relationship. And off of the top of my head, without concerted thought, here's the main benefit I gleaned from each:

1. Protection
2. Growth
3. Loving-kindness

Wow.... looks like the fruits these relationship bore were not so rotten after all!  No relationship leaves us where it finds us. Some relationships nurture us and make us feel loved and valued.  Other relationships do just the opposite, causing us to love and value ourselves.  And for many of us, the learning and maturing that comes from the tough relationships is what makes us the people we are... the kind of people we've always wanted to be.

In essence, to me, there is no such thing as a bad relationship.  We learn and grow from each one, and are made ready for whatever (or whoever) comes next. So I say, "Thank you" to my exes. They've helped me become kinder, more forgiving, more patient, and, in the final analysis, happier.

What have your exes taught you? And how can you use what you learned to benefit others, and to lead a happier, fuller life?